Happy new year... well 6 days too late to wish that now huh? Its been one huge screwed up year this year, some highs and MOSTLY lows..

New Year's eve saw me at The Curve, where we found a nice secluded spot to watch BOTH 1 Utama's and Curve's fireworks. Was with Yen Ling, which made it all the more significant. Met Tracy there, and darn, I couldn't get the Graphic novel that i wanted from her.

Just recently I went to this really nice place called Sekeping Serendah, go visit www.serendah.com for more details.. Its a really nice place and I went with Yen Ling's family and some friends. Photos be up soon. The website is really deceiving, it wasn't THAT nice in real life, but it was still great nonetheless. Watching Yen Ling squeal everytime a bug flew at her is priceless. XD

Su ann's birthday was yesterday. SUprised her and all, which was really great, Happy 21st b'day!

I was called by this company called e-markplus recently. I went for their interview and all ( all the way in KLANG!) and they just called me and told me to come for briefing on 7th(tommorrow) I emailed tehm questions and they never answered. I called them, and all they could offer me were incomprehensible answers. So I just decided to not go.

Thats not to say I don't have a job, I do. I was working part time before, even before the term ended at this place called Corezone, which specialises in Adventure gear and outdoor stuffs. I'll just work a bi more while trying to send out resumes to other companies.

I hear all my other classmates are getting along fine :) thats really great.

I'll probably not go to UK after all. The big house and everything may be deceiving. I'm just a poor fuck after all. Don't belive me? Too fucking bad.

But 'll still go apply for it I guess, who knows, luck might change?
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2005 was a sort of semi- great year. I never did anything exciting and spent most of my year being sullen and dull, and staying low. There really wasn't much excitement in my years anymore:- nothing ever happens enough to be memorable I guess, aside from the " I met a girl on a futsal pitch and now she's my girlfriend" fiasco.

Nothing ever happens like it always have before. Fortune tellers have always told me that i would lead a good sheltered life. Already I feel the shelter being poulled from under me, and already I feel like falling 10,000 feet below and crashing on something hard and heavy. Already I feel like we wasted a whole load of money getting our fortunes told.

Sure, I had a good life... so far.

When I was young I travelled almost the whole world! When I grew older I was a semi- smart boy. Then when  came to college, I was doing what I loved.

But now I'm just a bitter and cynical little dick-twat, doubting everything, and the next 20 years of my life already looks miserable from my perspective. My mother told me that this society is populated by people who hide their bloodthirsty desires for success under a nice plastic smile, and already I am dreading it. My principles are weak and feeble in the face of this adversity, and I can't help but let the ocasional plastic smile slip out once in a while whilst I'm working at Corezone...

Time to FUCKING GROW THE FUCK UP KOK MING! YOUR LITTLE PARADE OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS AND GENUINITY HAS ENDED! YOU NEED TO SURVIVE! NOT BE HONEST OR HAVE LITTLE IDEALISTIC FANTASIES OF BEING REAL OR WHATEVER!

The past few days I saw what being fake can do to your reputation.

It boosts it.

Enough said.